Pieces of Me

I could say new year, new look, but this one is a drastic one …so perhaps it deserves a bit more explanation.  A quote I read recently sums it up nicely. “One day someone is going to hug you so tight, that all your broken pieces fit back together.”

Since I started in SL, I have lived many different lives,  avatars created with components of me, but never all of me, to keep my heart and emotions safe.  There was Minx, my flirty, scrappy warrior pixie; Ciara, my spiritual gypsy witch; Terelyn, the fallen angel conflicted about her place in the world; Mika, my magical child self.  And of course, you’ve all known Nyree, my professional model working self.  You see, by splitting myself this way, I could still be part of me that I knew, which gave me some level of comfort, but at the same time, because it was only part, it didn’t matter so much if that one part was accepted or rejected.

I once had someone tell me if I could ever bring all my avatars together, then I’d be completely me.  I could see the truth in that, yet was never willing to do so, not for myself and certainly not for any SL lover.  Until, I met someone on my Princess of Play avatar, Shadow.  Shadow was me, at my most relaxed.  And I guess because of that, and the fact that I was truly looking for a friendship, not expecting a romance, my guard was down…and somehow all of me came together without me even thinking about it.

When you find someone who loves the whole of you, and makes you feel so safe and valued for who you are, it is funny how the pieces merge together. So, Nyree has taken on Shadow’s look, and for the first time, Nyree’s look hasn’t changed due to insecurities, but rather from a sense of freedom to be myself, with all my foibles.  I am living fully as me for the first time in SL, doing the things I love, being with the people who matter, and able to flirt, scrap, play, explore deep, soul-searching topics, work and live my magical SL life.  Dedicated to the one that brought all of me back together again, and gave me all of him in the process. All of Me – John Legend.

On Nyree:

Jacket: ISABELLA MESH LEATHER JACKET creme – shine by [ZD]

Skirt: Giles ruby – ColdLogic
Shoes: Pointy Strap Heel Red for Slink Medium Feet – ISON

Ring: Indonesia Ring – Sajahan – Finesmith

Hair: Celebrity Skin Dark Blondes – Exile

Pose: Pouffe in Red Ottoman (multi-pose) – Circa Living

On Dilip:

Jacket: JONAS MESH PEA COAT grey with rollneck sweater – sharp by [ZD]

Pants: MESH SUIT PANTS black – sharp by [ZD]

Shoes: Elegance Shoes black – Scarpa

Hair: Dura Boy 36 – Dura

Pose: Arwan – Diesel Works

Scene:

Living Room Set, Table, Lamp, Print Rug, Picture Grouping, Hanging hearts, Ottoman, Window, Valentine Knick Knacks – Luxely Valentine Living Room – Circa Living

Tusciana Breakfast Tray – Circa Living

Vintage Love Manniquin – Circa Living

Illusions Round Wall Mirror – Circa Living

Heart Blanket Red – Dreamscapes Art Gallery

Love Is Framed Pic – Dreamscapes Art Gallery

Toronto Study Cabinet – Bazaar Quality Home

Rose Heart Wreath – A.D.D. Andel

Stockholm Attic Skybox – Barnsworth and Anubis

Couples Pose:  #8 Couples Pose – Everglow

Letting go

You’ve been letting me go, little by little for a while now, and I’ve been moving away.  You’ve been my temporary home, and in that time, more of a partner to me than others who vowed to love me till death parted us, but left far sooner.  You’ve never promised this to me, nor I to you, and yet you’ve shown your commitment to me in myriad ways, mostly by letting me be me, and loving me despite my quirks.

With you, I feel safe emotionally.  Safe enough to gradually…ever so gradually…let you go, because it is time, and I need to, even if I still love you.  We’ve both seen it coming, the love still there, but the reality of a future together dimming.  The gentle pulling away, spending more time living separate lives, clinging together briefly in moments of passion and panic, as though trying to reassure each other that it isn’t ending, but knowing in our hearts what is on the horizon.  Don’t speak of it…let’s not speak of it aloud.

Sometimes love isn’t enough, when what each one wants in life is so different. And still we love for today…letting go a little more each day, knowing there will come a day, in the not so distant future, when there is that last kiss goodbye, that final embrace, and then just feeling lost for a time without the other, hoping that what we had can eventually become an abiding friendship as we both move on to whatever life holds for us.

No…don’t speak of it today.  Don’t say it aloud, because today, I am still here.  You are still here.  We will love for today and let tomorrow unfold as it will.

Styling:

On Nyree:

Shirt: Girl’s Slim Mesh T Pastel Green – shine by [ZD]

Shorts: Mesh Girls Cargo Shorts Brown – shine by [ZD]

Necklace: Burst Necklace Carnelian and Silver – HANDverk

Lashes: Long Prim Lashes – Face Paint

Liner: NIC Perfect Liner Black – Face Paint

Lips: NIC Perfect Gloss – Face Paint

Hair/Hat: Lola Mesh Hair Chocolate – Wasabi Pills

Shoes: Sabia Espadrilles Linen – Tabloid

On Darion:

Shirt: Mesh Vintage Tee Plum – sharp by [ZD]

Shorts: Summer Cargo Shorts color-change – JLB Apparel

Hat/Hair: Boy/Girl 18 – Dura

Necklace: Men’s Happiness Choker Chaine – Wicked Gear

Scene: Mangrove Tree Bridge – Rustica

Pose: Follow – Glitterati